Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Earliest Memories

Earliest Memories

Arthur Koestler

(1905- )

Guit. Fear. Loneliness. I have had my share of those since I was young. Though I am not really comfortable discussing these things, this story got me to reflect on them.

My earliest memory of guilt and fear was when I was tasked to take care of my younger brother. I took my brother to the playground, I forgot to watch over him because I was too busy playing with my friends. He only got my attention when he was crying. He fell from where he was sitting and his forehead hid the corner of a table. His head swelled up and it turned blue and black. I was scared when we went home because mom might scold me, but my younger brother did not cry, when he was asked what happened to him, he just said that he fell because he did not listen to me. My brother didn’t want me to get in trouble.

My earliest memory of loneliness was when my daddy died when I was five. It was a sad experience for the whole family. The worst part was when we returned home after dad was buried, it was then that I realized that things will never be the same again. Dad won’t be coming home anymore; I won’t be seeing my father dance in a funny way whenever he’s trying to make my mom notice him. I do not have my father with me anymore.

I think it is quite unfair that memories of guilt, fear and loneliness marks my childhood, but I can’t do anything about it now. I just have to make the most out of my life now.