Thursday, January 31, 2008

you're my wonderwall!

last night, after our EPC mass, we had a grand salu-salo and mr. noel cabangon was there to serenade everyone with his wonderful music. his first song was wonderwall, originally performed by oasis.

i was looking at someone while listening to that song. i was silently wishing that he'd hear the song and that he'd understand that i want to sing that song for him.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

he's my wonderwall. i want him to save me.

regaining what i lost

i have been thinking... i want him to want me as much as i want him. i want him to love me the way i love him. i yearn for him, i long to be with him. i am in love. in love with someone who loves me much that i am scared of being away from him. i am in love with someone so good that even i feel embarrased to come near him. i feel scared. i feel lost. but then i go on, move forward, holding his hand tight. having his heart beating for me, and my being searching for him.

i love you, my prince.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

letting go...

this would probably be the hardest part in our relationship. I feel the need for me to let go. I feel the need for me to loosen my grip on the hand that has held me so tight that i thought it would be permanent.

i am scared, scared of losing him. he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. he's the best i ever had, and now, it seems like i would have to learn to go on without him. why this early? why now? what happened to my forever? it's not like we both wanted this to happen, we have no choice. i have no choice. i am in pain.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

sooooooooo busy....

the 45th foundation celebration's really an event to be remembered...
lot's of things happened to me.
most of them unexpected...
the rest are the causes of my deep eye bags...
my puffy eyes' been really sucking the air out of my system...
depressing me...
sometimes i really want to scream out loud and like tell them:
but hey, at the end of the day, i still love what i do and i'd not give this up for a quiet day at school.


lot's of things to do...

i have to make sure the whole EPC would be fed and accomodated on the 31st...
(we're 1000 in all...)

i can't even make sure that my younger brother eats well eh...

tsk.tsk. good luck!


Friday, January 4, 2008

my brothers...

here's something i have been wanting to write about for the longest time.
a salute to the men who has always been there for me. *for real* (they have no choice, hahahaha!)

first, i'm gonna tell you something about my kuya. John Michael L. dela Peña, most people call him "JM". He's 21 and he just graduated from college. He's busy recording songs with his band. He plays the bass and he's one helluva player. He's really good. He even took time to teach me back when i was in third year high school, though i did not turn out to be as good as him (not even close) i could say that he's the best music teacher i ever had. (He laughs at my every mistake, not making it a big deal)but he patiently taught me to play.

kuya and i fight a lot. and i mean, a lot, from the silliest things to the heaviest things there are. i think the reason we fight a lot is the fact that we're pretty much the same. I love my kuya very much. He keeps the family together. He makes sure na the three of us stick together while mami is away, working. He's a cool brother. Child-like, pero very responsible.

"bunsuhang giliw, lab-lab ni mami..."
every morning, i would hear mami say these words to wake mak-mak up. James Mark L. dela Peña, often called "Mak" is my youngest brother. He's 15. He plays the guitar, he sings and he knows how to dance. He used to play baseball too for the Little League Team of Canlubang. Mak is a really responsible kid. He knows how to cook, he cleans the house well, he does the laundry (his clothes only) hehehe! Mak started to be strict on me when he learned that i was going out on dates already. He screens my clothes before i go out of the house, if he doesn't like it, i would not be able to leave the house. He's really sweet and kind, he does the errands for me, like buy me a sanitary napkin when i unexpectedly get my period.

like kuya, mak and i fight a lot too. he scolds me whenever i get too lazy to do my chores, he gets mad when i wear his shirts, he gets mad when i get a hold of the remote. but at the end of the day, he still talks to me and calls me 'ate'. I love Mak. He's my baby.

My brothers, we're pretty much the same, bring us to toy kingdom and we could stay there the whole day. Pop-in a Paramore cd then we'd be singing out lungs out like crazy, bring fried chicken home and that would not last long. I often leave the house to avid dealing with them, but at the end of the day, they're still the family i come home to everyday and i like it that way.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A glimpse of a Perfect World...

Song lyrics | Perfect World lyrics


I was getting ready to leave the house this morning when i heard this song. An image of a guy popped into my mind, and he stayed there.

Album: Delorean

Mula nang makilala ka
Di na makapaniwala
Na kahit pa magka-iba
Tayo’y sadyang naging isa
Sa Langit ay ba’t kumalas
Nahulog ba mula ‘taas
Pak-pak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang magkasama ka ng mas madalas

Anghel sa lupa mananatili ka
Hindi na hahayaang lumipad at iwan ako
Anghel sa lupa nahuhumaling na
Langit nadarama pag kapiling kita

Sana’y di na lumisan pa
Di ko yata makakaya
Ang di ko na makita pa
Pagtitig mo sa ‘king mata
Naliligaw ba ng landas
Nariyan ka pa ba bukas
Pakpak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang makasama ka ng mas madalas

[repeat Chorus]

Dapat ba sa isang mortal
Ang sa iyo ay magmahal

[repeat Chorus]

Nais kong ialay ang buong buhay ko sa’yo

a stunner

December 27, 2007

I was on my way to Manila to meet a friend. I was on the bus with Cielo, my good friend, we were seated at the back and i was near the windows. I have always enjoyed looking at the billboards along the highway, but at that particular day, I just felt so tired to do so. I was about to fall asleep when a billboard caught my eye, I saw the word "God" on it, that's why i took a second look.

I was stunned. Something in me melted. My heart pounded. I was in pain. Somehow, I felt that the message was really for me, that it was there because he knew that I would be looking, He has to let me know somehow. I have been ignoring His calls to me, I chose not to look at the signs He's been giving until this one came. I felt sorry, I wanted to cry right then and there. But i am scared to come to Him. Am i worthy?