"My Favorite Mistake"

i found this somewhere in my notes as i was cleaning up my stuff. It was dated December 30, 2006. I wrote it, and i can't remember why...


"i don't know how it all started, i don't even want to remeber why. i just find myself looking for it, missing it: those little stolen moments i get to have those little peeks to heaven. the deafening silence breaks my heart, but then it also builds up in me this tingling sensation i just can't resist. with a flick of a finger, with that little smile, i cannot but want it more and more. this little things keep me sane, these little things keep me here. i'd give up anything for a little more of this, just a little more. i don't know when all these will be taken away from me, but i am loving the little rendezvous, the holding of the hands, the sweet kisses, i am loving him, silently, SILENTLY. He doesn't know, or maybe he does, i think he loves me. but all these will be soon taken away from me. I'll miss the touch, i'll miss the kiss, then all of these. All gone. SILENTLY... silently."