Friday, March 28, 2008

whoa...

last night, i was watching a lat night drama anthology. I broke down into tears. it spoke about me, or at least the main character was in the same position i'm in. i realized what my tendencies could be, what i am capable of doing to fill up the gaps of my broken self. i was scared. i didn't realize that i could have that monster inside me, i could be that bad, i could be that miserable (more miserable than now.)

just like her, I like the feeling of being needed and when i am shoved aside, i get sad, i get frustrated, i feel useless. i don't like the feeling of being left out and i hate being left alone. i cover up sadness by making myself busy with all sorts of stuff. i long for security and affection, i try to get these from the people i am with. i cling on to people and i find it hard to let go...


i might need help...


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