on love...

"Love is not something to be over-analyzed. it's supposed to be spontaneous and involuntary for it is an activity of the heart."

in memory of our Murphy...

totally terrified of what i knew was about to happen, i came late for my biology class...
we were about to kill, skin and open up a frog... what we had wasn't really a frog, it was a toad (read: bigger) i was terrified... sir oliver demonstrated how to paralyze the frog, i sat in the corner crying until kuya ron told me to get up and join the group. i did join them, but i was not looking at whatever they were doing. after a few words of encouragement from almost everyone, i found myself holding the feet of the toad as kuya ron was pithing the head. then i said to myself, "*snap* they actually talked me into doing this thing." i was crying of course... i cried like a kid, like a baby, it was quite embarrassing, now that i look back at it, but at that time,i didn't really care... all i was thinking of was the toad. when it was dead, i helped in skinning it. i found inspiration from grey's anatomy. hahaha! it was there that i realized that i could be a surgeon. we named our frog "Murphy". He was a good frog. He didn't give us a hard time though it took quite a while to kill him completely. I will miss Murphy. But i am still terrified of frogs and toads, especially if they're alive and croaking.

College Retreat

Life is like a pencil...



1. there is something good in you.
2. you need to be sharpened in order to live.
3. in case of mistakes, you are provided with an eraser.
4. remember, somebody is holding you.
5. you have to leave a mark.


Our three-day retreat focused on the pencil module. the points stressed are quite self-explanatory. I enjoyed the retreat. It felt good going back into myself. I needed a break from all the drama and the chaos my life has brought me. I needed this break. In fact, I need more breaks like this. I am not as strong as I seem. I am no super-human. I am weak. In fact, the bruises on my arm would prove that i do not do well with stress. I am an angry person. Very angry, incapable of loving truly, at least not yet. I need to settle things first. I need to solve my issues. I need somebody to talk to. I am tired of running away from everything. I want to talk about what happened almost 14 years ago. I want to speak up.

52 confessions

1. The phone rings, who do you want it
to be?
- my mom, sana si marius din or si ralph

2. When shopping at the grocery store,
do you return your cart?
- nope... hahaha!

3. If you had to kiss the last person
you kissed, would you?
- sure... hahaha!

4. Do you take compliments well?
- compliments??? when i get some... i am grateful...

5. Do you play Sudoku?
- no.. i am bad at numbers

6. If abandoned alone in the
wilderness would you survive?
- depende. hahaha!

7. If your house was on fire, what
would be the first thing you would
save?
- important pictures and documents of course...

8. Who was the last person you slept
in the bed with?
- hhhm.... can't remember... ah! kapatid ko... wahahaha!

9. Who do you text the most?
- cielo... partida, lagi pa kami magkasama....

10. Favorite children's book?
- yung tales from the carrot patch

11. Eye color?
- black

12. How tall are you?
- 5'4?

13. If you could do it over again,
start from scratch, would you?
- do what????

14. Any secret admirers?
- kemerkemerlu... di ko alam

15. When was the last time you were at
Olive Garden?
- never been there...

17. Where was the furthest place you
traveled?
- pampanga....ah! i have been to baguio na pala...

18. Do you like mustard?
- ewwwnesss... no

19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
- sleep....

21. Do you miss anyone?
- super. my mom, si pal, c dada

22. Can you do splits?
- nung bata pa ko... di pa tnatry ulit....

23. What movie do you want to see
right now?
- yung kay aga and angelica....

24. What did you do for New Year's Eve?
- can't remember... i slept lang ata...

25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
- i didn't get to watch that one.

26. Do you own a camera phone?
- yup

27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
- nope. but she cheers well...

28. What is the last letter of your
middle name?
- p

29. Are you hispanic?
- my grandparents are...

30. How many hours of sleep do you get
a night?
- dunno. i`m guessing 5-7 hours

31. Do you like care bears?
- i cried nung feb fair 2005 just to get one.... i love them

32. What do you buy at the Movies?
- clover chips and mango juice...

33. Do you know how to play poker?
- nope.

34. Do you wear your seatbelt?
- when reminded lang...

35. What do you wear to sleep?
- sando at boxer shorts

37. Is your hair straight or curly?
- wavy

38. Is your tongue pierced?
- sana.... before mag christmas siguro...

39. Do you like Liver and Onions?
- nope

40. Do you like funny or serious
people better?
- it depends on the situation and my mood.

41. Ever been to L.A.?
- nope

42. Who is on your mind right now?
- si rob...

43. Any plans for tonight?
- sana makatulog na ko ng maayos

44. Whats your fav. song at the moment?
- when she cries

45. Do you hate chocolates?
- nope.

46. What do you and your parents fight
about the most?
- when i scream at my brothers

47. Are you a gullible person?
- yung shallow side ko oo

48. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend
to be happy?
- nope..

49. If you could have any job what
would it be?
- crime scene investigator.

50. Are you easy to get along with?
- i guess.sana...

51. What is your favorite time of day?
- late afternoon.....

52. Are you generally a happy person?
- medyo.

randon questions 2

Do you trust your friends?
* yup. i trust my friends a lot. i tell them ALMOST everything

Would you move to another state or
country to be with the person you love?
* depende, would he do the same???.

Do you believe that everything
happens for a reason?
* yes... i want to believe na there's reason for everything.

What were you doing today?
* eating... we were supposed to have classes... kaso wala prof....

Which one of your friends do you
think would make the best roommate for
you?
* siguro si cielo...hahaha! makulit kasi eh, masaya kasi trip nun... kung pdeng co-ed, isama mo na rin yung si pal...

Can you deal with people who are too
concerned with status?
* kaya, kung kailangan, bakit hndi?

Are you afraid of falling in love?
Why or why not?
* i love, no matter how hard it would be, no matter how painful it could be...

Is there someone who pops into your
mind at random times throughout the
day?
* yes. whenever i see something that would remind me of him...

Would you stop talking to
your friends because you hooked up with
a new guy/girl?
* nope, if a guy disapproves of the friends i have, bahala sya, wag nia ako papapiliin baka madisappoint lang xa...

Name one person from your friends
list that you could call to fix a flat
tire.
* si carla siguro...

from your friends list, who can you
call in the middle of the night?
* hm, si des?

What qualities do you find most
attractive with the opposite sex?
* makulit, understanding, yung may sariling paninindigan

Fill in the blank. I will
______:

* go home later...haha!

What can you tell by kissing
someone?
* kung may proper hygiene ba sya... wahaha! joke lang... siguro kung may spark o wala...

When you get married, how would you
envision your dream wedding to be?
* simple pero memorable... gusto ko sa batulao... haha!

If you were to wake up from being
in
a coma for an extended period of time,
name some people you would want to see
* loved ones ko...

Would you make a good parent?
* siguro di pa ngayon... di pa ako ready... waaaa

What is your middle name?
* lalap

What is your current relationship
status?
* free but complicated...very complicated...

Honestly, does your crush like you
back?
* ewan ko, and i don't really care...haha!

What is your current mood?
* tired and sleepy

What makes you most happy?
* seeing my loved ones happy...

Are you musically inclined?
* siguro...

If you could go back in time, and
change something, what would you
change?
* yung childhood ko

Who makes u happy most of d time?
* having a great set of friends who often remind me na i have no right to be sad kasi God is constantly showering me with great blessings...


Have u receive a shocking
revelation
lately?
* i think so...??!

mga katanungan pa...

What kind of first impression do
you think people have when they first
see you?
* suplada at maarte
* maingay at tatanga-tanga
* good for nothing at purita

What is your favorite line to say
when bored?
* "kapoy..."

What movie(s) made you cry?
* click, maid in manhattan... 50 first dates...

Do you ever have to beg?
* yup, to make people talk to me...

what kind of books do you like to
read?
* coehlo din... j.k. rowling... kahit ano ...

Do you think you're cute?
* i dunno, minsan..

Is it a problem changing clothes in
front of your friends?
* nope... haha

Favorite communication method?
* letter... magulo ako kausap eh....

Do you care?
* seldom

What do you eat when you raid the
fridge at night?
* watermelon...

If you could have plastic surgery,
what would you have done?
* hm...knee scabs...

Describe your bed?
* magulo... as in magulo...

Spontaneous or planned?
* spontaneous....

Do you know how to play poker?
* ndi po... si brylle ata marunong...

random questions

1. Name one person who always make you
smile.
- cielo the clown....wahahaha!

2. What were you doing at 5:00 this
morning?
- sleeping... i was so tired yesterday....

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
- staring at my blog

4. Who was the last person who broke
your heart?
- marius palacios... but he didn't know... di nya kasi alam na i loved him that much.

5. What is the last thing you said
aloud?
- "babay!"

6. How many different things did you
drink today?
- two, coke and water

7. What color is your hairbrush?
- wala akong suklay... masaklap... nawala sa bahay.

8. What was the last thing you bought?
- coke... kanina

9. where do you live?
- sa manggahan, palo-alto calamba city.....

10. What color is your gate?
- red...

11. Where is your sister?
- sana meron... hahaha!

12. how was your day yesterday?
- tiring... bothering and boring...

13. What is the last ice cream flavor
you ate?
- hahahaha! chocolate... pinipig

14. are you an optimistic one?
- sometimes

15. Do think your okay?
- no

16. contented in life?
- could be....

17. Do you talk a lot?
- yup... a great cover up

18. are you happy with the love of your
life right now? why?
- ... *stares blankly ahead*

19. do you skip meals?
- always...

20. do you consider yourself smart?
- academically yes.

21. Do u cook your own food?
- nope

22. reason for living?
- Life

23. Are you typically a jolly person?
- on the surface

24. name one enemy of yours:
- insecurity

25. Name your close friends
- marius, cielo, karen, yannie, amae, larapot, whil, mens, ron, jm, migs

26. Who's first person in your
phonebook?
-aa (balance inquiry)

27. What did the last text message you
received say!?
- "ok."

28. Do you go to gym?
- yah, pag may epc mass... hahaha!

29. song playing at the moment:
- some rock song

30. Name someone with the same b-day
- kuya jesvir

31. What's the craziest thing you've
done?
- hahaha! run around our place while it's raining...actually bagyo yun. nung milenyo

32. Favorite color(s)?
- moss green, royal blue, canary yellow

33. What's your favorite nO#
- 14, 12

34. What is d song dedicated to ur
ex..?
- misery business

35. Who is d person that makes u cry..?
- my knight in shining armor

36. Any plans right now?
- go home

37. What are your plans for tonight?
- sleep,

38. What are you looking forward to
tomorrow?
- class sa mass com

39. Last time you smiled?
- kanina

40. Who do you wanna be with right now
- mom ko....

FIRST REACTIONS????

1. Beer: elbi square

2. Food: fried chicken

3. Relationships: it's complicated

4. Your CRUSH: nakita ko kanina

5. Power Rangers: white tiger

6. Life: as i know it???

7. Death: rather than sin???

8. School: UPLB

9. The President: ate naiza

10. Yummy: brylle!

11. Cars: yellow beetle

12. Movie: drumline

13. Halloween: jack o' lanterns

14. Sex: sacred

15. Religion: faith

16. Myspace: ....

17. Fear: frogs

18. Marriage: white

19. Blondes: gwyneth paltrow

20. SLIPPERS: ralph selga

21. SHOES: green sneakers

22. Asians: food! yummy food

23: Past time: sleep

24. One night stands: stupid

25: Cell Phone: text!

27: Smoke: asthma

28. Fantasy: palawan

29: COLLEGE: UPLB

30: Highschool Life: sleep

31. Pyjamas: banas

32. Stars: callalily

33. Fitness Center: torture dungeon

34. Alcohol: baby!!! hahaha!

35. The word love: selfless

36. Friends: laughter through all the pain

37. Money: green

38. Heartache: it has a name na.._____________

39. Time: is gold?

40. Divorce: a big no-no

41. Dogs: dugal

42. UndiES: spongebob

43. Parents: love

44. Babies: cute

45. Stripper: why?

46. Blogs: release

47. News: ? apathy?

48. Weddings: white

49. Pizza: cayo


50. kleenex: toilet