kahit kelan di ko naramdaman na nakakapagod kang mahalin...

ngayon lang...



--- very special love...

magmamahal ka pa rin kahit ang sakit sakit...

isa to sa mga emo posts na gagawin ko...


masakit na...
nakakapagod manlimos ng atensyon na di mo rin pala ibibigay,

sana di mo na ko pinagstay.

masmasaya yun...

kaso, wala



masakit...


nakakasakit na KAYO!

walang joke, masaya ako ngayon...

all the while akala ko kelangan ko ng ibang tao para maging masaya, well, hindi pala, hahaha! masaya ako ngayon, nag-eenjoy ako kasama ibang tao. Masaya ako mag-isa...

a tribute to my partner-in-crime, the all powerful: John Alex Banawa

he worked his ass off with they lay-out of the college publication and i only saw him stressed was when the freakin' printer wont cooperate with us. I am very thankful for having him as my lay-out artist because we are so in the same page. Harhar! people often pull us down by saying stuff here and there but well, ehem! look at the products of our lovin' labor!


harhar!

Petrichor

(inspired by the new word i learned today from the internet)
(thanks to John Alex Banawa for the complimentary words and phrases)

Petrichor

The smell of the earth starts to get to me,

aware of the love that will never be.

All these would be a lasting memory

Of you and me in sweet serenity.

As warmth touches my numbed senses once more,

Your painful silence overwhelms my soul

Looking back, I see you and me no more

Visions of you, all smeared with mud and coal

Candy-colored ark reigns over the sky

this, for me, is the sign to say goodbye.

Ephemeral Elysium’s destined end:

Farewell, the only thing broken hearts lend.

My Pivot

A Life-turning Experience



Last March 2008, our Theater Arts class was preparing for a stage play for the Holy Week. It was a really stressful activity for the whole class but I felt more pressured because I was the director of the play. All the drama and the stress were starting to get to me. I was starting to get so irritable and so moody. I was a mess. Good thing my classmates and my batch mates never gave up on me. They were always there supporting me with the preparations for the play. Everything was going well until the night of the last performance came. Last minute preparations were done to make the blocking of the actors better. Our professor in theater Arts helped me out with this adjustments and it was only thirty minutes till show time.

One of my classmates did not like the fact that I let our professor over rule my on my role as the director. He said that I should have asserted what I had in mind and we should have stuck with what was rehearsed. At that point, though, all I could think of was to make the show a worthwhile material for the people to reflect on for the Holy Week more than executing the play for get the grade, I was more concerned with giving the people something to ponder on. And so, the violent reactions from that particular classmate brought me down, that made me question myself and my capacity as a director.

I felt really devastated. I was crying but I tried hard not to make them see the tears, I did not want them to think that I was weak. One of my classmates saw me while I was fixing my costume, he asked me what was wrong and at first I was hesitant to tell the story, and when I did, he hugged me and told me that it was not my fault and that I did not have to take all the blame for myself. He said that I did all that I could to make the play a good one and that I should not be feeling bad at all. He says that I should try not to take everything in. “Do your best in the things that you do and God will do the rest.”

It was an incident that I still treasure to this day. I do not know if he still remembers the things he said to me that night, but those words really inspired me. I started to just let things go when I have done my part. I used to have the tendency to just embrace all the jobs and do everything at the same time, but now, I have learned to know my limitations.

I am very grateful to that friend of mine. Until today, he’s my source of daily doses of sanity that keep my grounded.

A Reflection on The Music Child

The Music Child
Alfred A. Yuson
(1991)



I never believed that the older people get, the more they know how to deal with the things that come their way. Older people tend to complicate things, they tend to seek the deeper meaning of this, which is not bad at all, but sometimes, things are not to be overanalyzed all the time. Some things in this life are simple; the answers to most of our problems are often given to us, laid down in front of us.

I admire children when they talk to each other, they see the world as something so pretty and something so beautiful, they appreciate what some of us don’t and yes, they seem to have all the answers. Children share, adults rarely do, children tell the people they love that they appreciate them, adults have a great deal of a hard time doing this. I can’t seem to reconcile why adults have to let go of some good habits when they grow up. Those little habits keep peace reigning. I am not saying that adults are responsible for the chaos and the turmoil, it’s just that, adults seem to have forgotten what joy it brings to just keep things simple, forgive and forget, give and take. Simple. These habits will keep our world spinning for us.